Asking For And Getting Everything You Want

Joe Weinlick
Posted by in Career Advice


Bestselling author Mark Victor Hansen says the main reason many people fail to get what they want is because they're too afraid to ask. The problem stems from the attitude going into the request — people who ask for something tend to see it as an all-or-nothing proposition instead of a series of events that leads to a long-term goal. Consider these strategies to get everything you want, even if you have to wait.

1. Fearlessness

Tell yourself you have nothing to fear except fear itself. Fear of punishment, rejection or retribution is one major stumbling block for people who fail to ask for something they want. Before making your request to another person, tell yourself that your query has value, it's important and your ideas have merit. Back yourself up with excellent, rational points.

2. Organization

Write out your request on paper to see exactly what you ask for and how you go about accomplishing your goal. The more you understand your well-reasoned argument, the more others understand what you're asking.

3. Salesmanship

Before you try to sell yourself to other people, sell yourself to yourself. Develop your self-confidence and determination by believing in yourself and your abilities that you will get what you want eventually. These attitudes form part of your personal brand and showcase the value you bring to the table.

The second part of your determination factor deals with how you handle an apparent setback. Recognize that you may not get what you want right away; this way, you react calmly to a potential rejection while still maintaining the confidence that you'll eventually succeed. Try not to act emotionally when you deal with resistance because that may lead to the other person taking you less seriously.

4. Heart

Whenever you ask for something, make the request from the heart. Let your enthusiasm shine with a passionate, friendly and polite conversation. Show the other person respect and cordiality, and maintain steady eye contact to reveal you mean business with what you're saying. When someone sees your excitement, that person understands that you have a vested interest in the outcome.

5. Politeness

Always be polite, even in the face of resistance. The other side might say he needs time to process your request or he needs to get permission to proceed. That is not a "no," but simply a "not yet." This does not mean you stop asking for what you want.

6. Gratitude

No matter what the outcome of your conversation, always say "thank you" afterwards. Sometimes, a handwritten thank-you note expresses your sentiment better than a verbal "thank you." Your note focuses on the positive and leaves a lasting impression with the other person for the next time you talk.

Getting everything you want can be as simple as making a request. You never make 100 percent of the shots you don't take, and you also never get things that you don't ask for.


Photo courtesy of aopsan at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

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